There are many misconceptions about what it means to book an appointment with a Registered Clinical Counsellor. These misconceptions create barriers so that people who would benefit from talking to a counsellor don’t access the service. Last week I wrote about what a Registered Clinical Counsellor does to offer clarity about what you can expect from a counsellor.
Today, I will address myths related to the efficacy of counselling. In other words, if you are wondering whether counselling therapy actually works, this is the post that will answer.
There are several “myths” or assumptions about counselling that communicate a general sense of doubt about whether counselling is effective. “Counselling” and “Therapy” are broad terms, so for the sake of this post, when I write about counselling, I am referring to services provided by a Registered Clinical Counsellor, or an equivalent association (i.e. a Certified Canadian Counsellor).
Registered Clinical Counsellors use well-researched, evidence-based methodologies in their practices. Counselling therapy is grounded in research and science that has shown that therapy helps people navigate a wide range of emotional, relational, and life challenges.
In short – yes, counselling is effective. Let’s explore some myths that question the amount of time required for therapy to be effective, how “unwell” one must be before counselling will work, and what might be expected of a counselling client for therapy make a difference.
The Effectiveness of Counselling: Does Therapy Actually Work?
Myth: Attending counselling won’t create any change in my life.
Myth: Seeing a counsellor will have immediate results.
Myth: I have to see a counsellor for years if I want it to be effective.
These three myths address one big question: Does therapy actually work? The answer is, yes. Therapy can help change your life by helping you recognize behaviour patterns, heal from hurts that have been influencing your choices, and develop a strong sense of self.
How quickly counselling has an effect depends on many factors, but two of the most important factors are your openness to counselling, and your comfort-level with the therapist. A multitude of research shows that the stronger the “therapeutic alliance” (the client’s relationship with the counsellor), the more impactful the therapy. Do you trust your counsellor? Do you believe that they are reliable, respectful, and committed to your cause? If the answer is yes, then you are more likely to commit to the therapy yourself.
Working with a Registered Clinical Counsellor won’t necessarily have immediate results; however, many of my clients express a sense of relief after the first session because they have started the process of creating change. As I mentioned in my previous post, the first stage of therapy is defining goals and becoming comfortable with therapy. Once you have made it through the introductory stage of counselling, you typically start to see progress. Once clients have a glimpse of change, I notice a renewed motivation, which can be exciting to witness.
Many people believe that you have to be in therapy for years before you “are fixed.” I wholeheartedly disagree with this, on many levels. First, there is no such thing as “being fixed.” I only use the phrase in this paragraph because I hear it used frequently in relation to counselling , and I would like to take the opportunity to address it. As humans we are all flawed and works in progress. We can all grow, improve, heal, and change for the entirety of our lives. Humans are complex, and the idea that we can be “fixed” to fit the image of a “perfect person” is unreasonable.
With this in mind, the idea that you have to be in therapy for years to see progress or change is refutable. Many people see a counsellor for a period of time, and then choose to take a break. They then return to therapy when they desire a new change, and continue the work they once started.
There are some issues that require more care than others. Healing from an abusive upbringing, for instance, may be something that heals in pieces, and may, indeed, take a long time to reconcile. What I would say to someone healing from a significant emotional wound is that you are the person in charge of your healing, and you get to choose the trajectory of the work. You are allowed to attend therapy for a time, and take a break when you see fit.
Counselling Prerequisites: How many mental health concerns make counselling worth my while?
Myth: Only “weak” or “crazy” people see counsellors.
Myth: My life has to be falling apart to justify seeing a counsellor.
Historically, there has been a cultural opinion that people who see counsellors are “weak,” or “crazy.” Thankfully, this perception is changing (in Canada, at least), and the idea of accessing mental health support is becoming somewhat more acceptable. Nonetheless, these myths raise some questions, like “How many mental health concerns do I have to experience before I see a counsellor?” and “How much do I have to be willing to disclose if I see a counsellor?”
The choice to see a Registered Clinical Counsellor is usually borne out of a desire for emotional support, or help changing life circumstances.
Seeing a counsellor for emotional support.
Life can be hard, especially when we are experiencing loss, rejection, isolation, or change. When someone sees a Registered Clinical Counsellor for emotional support, they aren’t necessarily looking for mental health skills; rather, the counsellor provides an unbiased listening ear, compassionate response, and validation of a difficult experience. Here are some examples of circumstances that may lead to seeing a counsellor for emotional support:
- You are grieving the loss of a loved one
- You have moved to a new community, and feel homesick.
- You’re pregnant
- You have experienced a break up, separation, or divorce
- Your kids have moved out, and you miss them
- You experience chronic pain
I could go on and on listing examples, but I think you get the point. There is no end to reasons why someone may wish to talk to someone who can provided unbiased emotional support.
Seeing a counsellor to create change.
Another reason people see a Registered Clinical Counsellor is to create change in their lives. Again, the list of examples is inexhaustive, but here are some that come to mind:
- Anxiety or depression has made it difficult to engage in life, and you want to change that
- You struggle with people pleasing, and want to be able to speak up for yourself
- Anger is an issue for you, and you no longer want to live at the mercy of your temper
- You continually end up in unhealthy relationships, and you don’t want this to happen anymore
- You want to be closer with your friends and family, but you don’t know how
- You want to address and heal past traumas
- You struggle with substance use, and want to feel more in control
Registered Clinical Counsellors are trained to help people create changes that improve their mental health. We know how to set effective goals, and we can teach you skills that will help create lasting change. We aren’t doctors; we don’t prescribe new behaviours or offer solutions that you aren’t interested in hearing. Instead, counsellors are curious. We ask lots of questions, and help you problem solve so that you don’t have to be stuck in an endless loop of the same disappointing pattern.
Myth: If I see a counsellor, I have to be ready to speak in depth about my past and my family of origin.
Talking to a counsellor often involves talking about your family of origin and your childhood, but it doesn’t have to. In general, family of origin and childhood discussions are aimed at helping the counsellor understand what has influenced your inner narrative, behaviours and beliefs. It is perfectly acceptable to tell your counsellor that you would prefer not to discuss family and childhood at length. Your counsellor can create a therapy plan that focuses on the issue at hand by developing skills instead.
Certain modalities of counselling put less emphasis on family of origin and childhood exploration, and more emphasis on skills development. For example, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) focus primarily on emotion and thought recognition skills, which help you make mindful choices about thoughts and behaviours. By nature, adjusting your thoughts and behaviours also adjusts your emotional response and physical reactions. These therapies can help you create significant life changes without ever discussing your childhood.
Conclusion
Speaking to a counsellor can be a wonderful experience. It isn’t always comfortable. The counsellor’s job description is to provide emotional support to help people endure difficult situations, such as bereavement; or to provide mental health support for people who are trying to create behaviour changes. By nature, you have to discuss some uncomfortable things.
Counselling is effective. There is no magic number of sessions that will “cure” you. As little as one session with a counsellor can inspire hope. To determine whether counselling is effective for you, you need to assess what you want to achieve by seeing a Registered Clinical Counsellor. To measure efficacy, you need to define the terms that would deem counselling effective.
If you are interested in seeing a Registered Clinical Counsellor, I encourage you to visit the Team page and to book a consultation with a counsellor from True Peace Counselling. The counsellors on our team are wonderful people who are dedicated to making a difference in their clients’ lives. We offer sessions virtually, or in-person in Victoria’s Westshore.
We offer free consultations so that you have an opportunity to meet your counsellor and ask questions before committing to working together. Don’t let misconceptions about counselling hold you back any longer. Book now.
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