Building Confidence – Women’s Empowerment Matters Today

March 8th is International Women’s Day. In honour of International Women’s Day, and women around the world, I am dedicating March’s blog posts to posts that empower women as they step into natural leadership positions in their lives.

Note: This is part one of a two-part post on empowering women through recognizing the systems that discourage women from stepping confidently into their own worth, and discussing strategies to build confidence as women. Subscribe now to make sure you don’t miss next week’s post.

Have you ever considered what it would look like to build confidence as a woman? This may seem like a foreign idea, especially if you are a woman who grew up with the messaging that it is essential to serve others and put your own needs aside. Building confidence for women is an essential step toward empowering women.

Even now, in 2025, there are many systems in place that continue to discriminate against women, undermining their self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence. Working toward personal empowerment is essential if you want to improve self-worth, increase self-esteem, and overcome self-doubt.

According to Oxford Languages Dictionary, empowerment is “the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.” When you build confidence as a woman, you’re not just helping yourself—you’re uplifting everyone around you. Women have incredible gifts to offer the world, and when we embrace our strengths with confidence, we create a more empowered, connected, and thriving society.

Isn’t empowering women an outdated issue?

It is 2025. Why are we still talking about empowering women? Many may mistakenly believe that women’s empowerment and self-worth is an outdated issue. As a counsellor, I respectfully disagree.

The number of women I see in sessions who share experiences of having their boundaries disrespected, their choices undermined, or their worth tied only to the men in their lives suggests that personal empowerment for women remains a pressing issue.

To put this into perspective, I have compiled a list of common issues that I often hear about in sessions. These challenges often leave women feeling ashamed, disconnected, and helpless – the opposite of feeling empowered and confident.

Having physical and emotional boundaries disrespected.

When going on dates, women are called a prude if they don’t engage sexually, and a slut if they do. When they set boundaries around their comfort levels, their dates frequently push for more.

I have have many women tell me “I didn’t want to go that far physically, but he just kept pushing so I finally said yes.” Experiences like these degrade mental wellness, diminishing the woman’s self-esteem and self-worth.

Judging Women for Their Role as Mothers

Mothers face criticism no matter what they choose.

• If a woman stays at home with her baby, people make comments about her “baby vacation,” insinuating that it takes little effort. I’ve heard, “She gets to nap every day—how is that not easy?” This disregards the fact that she has been up multiple times per night and is utterly exhausted.
• If a mother returns to work, people say she “doesn’t care about her children enough.”

This double standard puts undue pressure on mothers, making it impossible to make a choice that isn’t met with judgment.

Feeling Unsafe at Work

Women entering “male-dominated” careers shouldn’t have to fear for their safety – but many do, especially in remote work areas like camp jobs. In these situations, women often encounter men who make sexual comments toward them, and cover it up with the ever-so-popular comment “I was joking!”

When women speak up, they are told that they should avoid these types of jobs; however, these jobs pay significantly higher. Women shouldn’t be excluded from the opportunity to participate in a lucrative career based on their sex and gender, nor should they be subject to feeling unsafe at work.

Katie Beaton’s Ducks (2022) shares Katie’s story of working in Alberta’s Oil Sands. As I read this book, I said to my husband – “I hate that I already know what is going to happen in this story, even though I haven’t read the book.” And I was correct. Katie was subjected to extreme sexism and sexual harassment, and then told to “toughen up.”

Being Blamed for a Man’s Actions.

Have you ever heard of a woman being told that her male partner was unfaithful because she “let herself go”? Or that she didn’t get the promotion at work because she is “too naggy?” Women are frequently told that men’s choices are “their fault.”

This narrative reinforces self-doubt and low self-esteem, making it harder for women to feel confident in their worth.

Encountering medical professionals who are not trauma-informed.

About 30% of women aged 15 years and older have been sexually assaulted (Canadian Women’s Foundation – The Facts About Sexual Assault and Harassment). This statistic in itself is strong evidence for the fact that empowerment for women is a highly relevant issue.

The issue that I hear about as a counsellor is that doctors do not reliably provide trauma-informed care, so women who have a history of sexual trauma are subject to medical care that may trigger PTSD symptoms. This creates significant barrier for healthcare access for women.

Women’s health being under-researched.

When I did my Perinatal Mental Health training, I learned more about how little doctors and medical professionals know about women’s medical issues. For example, many doctors do not know which anti-depressants are safe for a pregnant or breastfeeding woman (and there are safe medications that really help postpartum depression!).

For a very long time, medical research focused on men’s bodies, and the assumption was made that the same research would be relevant for women. This may not seem like a big issue, but when you think about how many issues can arise for women during menopause, for example, you may change your mind.

If you are interested in learning more about the history of women in medical research, check out this post on the American Association of Medical Colleges’ blog.

Building Confidence is Often Discouraged for Women

Now that we have firmly established that empowerment for women is a relevant issue in today’s world, we have to ask – Why is change so slow to happen?

Inconvenience. To be frank, change is inconvenient for the people in power. Systems have been set up to benefit men, and changing those systems would take time, energy, education, and money. It is inconvenient, and unless there are noticeable consequences to creating more inclusive systems, the powers that be are generally not interested in change. As empowered women speak up for themselves, the consequences of maintaining the status quo become more evident.

In season 2, episode 7 of the popular sitcom New Girl, there is a scene where breastfeeding mother, Cece, is in a business meeting with a breast pump attached and running. When questioned, she tells the men in the meeting “It’s a breast pump. I said I needed time to pump, and you refused to change the time for the meeting, so here we are.”

While humourous, this scene is a great example of women stepping up. New Girl reached millions of viewers, who all benefited from witnessing a strong female character speak up for herself. It is mildly inconvenient to accommodate a breastfeeding mother, but it is empowering to have an inclusive team that leads change.

Vulnerability is hard. To create change is to say “I was wrong.” It is to recognize that the way things have been running has been hurting a significant portion of our population. That takes vulnerability.

While women have been socialized to put their own needs aside to support others, men have been socialized to abhor vulnerability and avoid it at all costs. In the same way that women must reconsider the messaging that they grew up with, men must also examine their unspoken beliefs to determine how they can create change.

Lack of understanding. People who don’t believe that women should focus on empowerment or building confidence often believe that women should be “grateful” for what they have. They tell women that men struggle to be away from their children while providing for the home, or that women shouldn’t want to work in a dirty place like the Oil Sands. They might even say that women should know better than to put themselves into sexually vulnerable positions.

The point isn’t what men are lacking, or what work is “too dirty” for women – the point is that each woman should have the right to make choices for herself, and to feel safe in the world, both professionally and personally.

Women’s Empowerment Benefits Everyone

Empowering women to build confidence benefits everyone because when someone feels confident, they embrace who they are and recognize their inherent worth. Confident people have healthier relationships, are more engaged as community members, and become leaders in their field.

In contrast, whether they identify as male, female, or gender-fluid, if someone lacks confidence, they are more likely to engage in dysfunctional behaviours.

Low self-worth. If someone feels “less than” others (low self-worth), they often rely on dysfunctional patterns, using manipulation and passive-aggression to try to reduce anxiety and depression. It is very difficult to have a healthy relationship with someone who significantly significantly with low self-worth.

When someone with low self-worth builds confidence and assertiveness, they increase their sense of self-worth, which improves their relationships, and reduces dysfunctional behaviour patterns .

Inflated self-worth. Alternatively, someone who lacks confidence may become hyper-defensive, and inflate their sense of self-worth as a way to protect themselves. This person’s dysfunctional behaviours create walls – they may try to bully to get what they want, or emotionally cut people off as a way of punishing them. They see themselves as “always right” and others as “always messing up.”

When someone with inflated self-worth builds confidence, they are able to lower their defenses, take accountability for their actions, and develop deeper connections with those around them.

Conclusion

The world will never be a perfect place. No human is perfect, and so the world will not be either. Nonetheless, we should always strive toward improvement. Empowering women to build confidence is one of those steps that will significantly improve the mental wellness of our world.

Reading a post like this can be overwhelming. I listed many issues that show evidence that women are regularly discriminated against, and that women’s empowerment continues to be a relevant issue. I encourage you to take a step today toward empowerment, whether that looks like signing up for a class that you have been thinking about attending, or booking a counselling session.

A sense of confidence and empowerment is important for everyone. Confidence isn’t about stepping on others – it is about being comfortable with who you are, and recognising your inherent self-worth. It is not selfish to strive toward personal empowerment.

If while reading this today, you thought “I need help,” I encourage you to book a counselling session. True Peace Counselling offers quality counselling services to adult residents of British Columbia. Book a free consultation today, and check back next week for part two of this post, where I will share strategies for building confidences.

Interested in reading more? Here are some posts that you may enjoy:

• Run Your Own Race: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Embrace Your Worth
• Leading with Confidence: Overcoming Self-Doubt and the Fear of Being “Too Much”
• The Power of Fierce Self-Compassion: Embracing Difficult Choices for a Better Future
• Practical Steps to Increase Self-Compassion
• Why Do Dads Beat Themselves Up? Understanding Self-Criticism
• Mental Wellness for Dads – Emotional Connection is the Key to a Healthy Sex Life
• How Dads Can Embrace Vulnerability Without Weakness

Disclaimer: The content of this blog is for informational purposes only. It is not meant to substitute the advice or diagnosis of a medical doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, or your own therapist.