Disclaimer: The content of this blog is for informational purposes only. It is not meant to substitute the advice or diagnosis of a medical doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist.
Today’s skill is called externalizing, which simply means getting your thoughts out of your head. When we keep thoughts inside ourselves, they live in a world with no boundaries. We can think up anything in our minds using our imaginations, which is fun for story telling and not so fun when managing something like depression or anxiety. When we externalize our thoughts, we subject them to the laws of reality, which puts the thoughts into perspective.
When I was working through my counselling practicum, I felt quite anxious about doing well in the program. Per the program requirements, I was meeting weekly with a clinical supervisor to review my counselling work. One day as I was driving to meet my supervisor, I noticed how anxious I felt. Being alone in the vehicle, I started to speak my thoughts aloud: “My supervisor is going to tell me that I am a terrible therapist and that I will ruin everyone’s lives.” As I spoke out my thoughts, I laughed. My supervisor was a warm and kind woman who was skilled at giving thoughtful critique of students’ work. It was completely out of character for her to say something like “You are going to ruin everyone’s lives.” Speaking my thoughts out loud helped relieve my anxiety so that I could go to my meeting with confidence.
Speaking your thoughts out loud is not the only way to externalize. Similarly, you can meet with a trusted friend or therapist, and share your thoughts with them. Journaling is another popular option because it is simple, confidential, and low cost. Exercising can be a way of externalizing emotions – for instance, if you are feeling a lot of anger, you can punch a heavy bag, or do an activity that takes a lot of energy, like chopping wood. Some people prefer to use art as a way to externalize their thoughts and feelings, creating artistic renditions of their emotions or thoughts.
Whatever method you choose, know that the important part is that the thought or emotion is released from being inside your mind, to being part of the external world. Emotions need space to process, so keeping them bottled inside is asking for problems. Likewise, thoughts don’t like to be kept inside. As I said earlier, in your mind thoughts have the full run of your imagination. After the thought has been spoken, it is a part of external reality, which has a lot more rules.
Kala McKenzie is a Registered Clinical Counsellor in Victoria, British Columbia. She holds a Master’s Degree in Counselling Psychology, and is a member of the British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors. If you are an adult living in BC and interested in counselling with Kala, book a complimentary consultation here.
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