Surprising no one, emotion management is an important part of building and maintaining positive mental health practices. Last week I wrote about labelling your thoughts, and I shared how taking the time to label your thoughts helps you to choose which thoughts you want to have impact your life. This week we will do almost the same thing for emotions. I will also address the importance of recognizing the difference between your thoughts and your emotions.
Emotions are our brain’s way of communicating our response to an experience. I like to envision emotions as little messengers that come carrying a message for the person. The act of naming your emotion is akin to accepting the messenger’s message. When you try to ignore emotions, it is like you are ignoring the messenger, so the messenger has to take increasingly extreme measures to get your attention. When you accept the message that the emotion messenger is delivering, your brain can process it, assess for accuracy, and make the necessary choices to manage the emotion.
When it comes to using emotion naming as a skill to manage mental health, it is important that we differentiate between thoughts and emotions. A thought is an idea that pops into your mind, and gains significance when you decide that it is important (see my last post for more on that). On the other hand, an emotion is a response to something that you are experiencing or have experienced.
In most scenarios, it doesn’t matter if you use a thought to express an emotion. Saying something like “I feel like running away” is usually adequate because the other person in the conversation can fill in the blanks. They understand that saying “I feel like running away” means that you’re feeling scared or uncomfortable. However, when it comes to the introspective act of listening to the emotion messengers, it is important to use the emotion’s name so that you can recognize the message that the messenger is carrying. You might say something like “I am feeling scared, and so I am having the thought that I want to run away.” Saying it this way helps your brain recognize the emotion (fear) and process whether the response is helpful.
A good trick for differentiating between thoughts and emotions is checking your word count. Thoughts are expressed with several words, while emotions can be summed up with a single word. “I feel _____.” “Like running away” is three words, while “Scared” is one. If you struggle with naming emotions, you can look up a feelings wheel. These handy diagrams list a plethora of emotions, which is incredibly helpful when you’re trying to identify what it is that you’re feeling.
Disclaimer: The content of this blog is for informational purposes only. It is not meant to substitute the advice or diagnosis of a medical doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist.
Kala McKenzie is a Registered Clinical Counsellor in Victoria, British Columbia. She holds a Master’s Degree in Counselling Psychology, and is a member of the British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors. If you are an adult living in BC and interested in counselling with Kala, book a complimentary consultation here.
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