Disclaimer: The content of this blog is for informational purposes only. It is not meant to substitute the advice or diagnosis of a medical doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist.
Practice #1 – Label your thoughts
One of the first things that I introduce to clients is the practice of labelling thoughts. If you’re as nerdy as I am, you’re currently wondering how to use your label maker on something that exists inside your head. Don’t worry – you don’t need a label maker for this practice.
Labelling thoughts is as simple as using the phrase “I’m having the thought that _______.” That’s it. I’m having the thought that my toes are cold. I’m having the thought that I want a chocolate bar. I’m having the thought that others are going to judge me if I tell them that I read this dorky mental health blog.
The power of this practice comes from the fact that thoughts only have power over us when we give them power. When thoughts pop into our heads, it is difficult not to assign meaning to those thoughts. If I am trying a new skill, and I think “I can’t do this,” then I feel deflated and helpless. What has happened is 1) I had the thought “I can’t do this” and 2) I assigned that thought meaning – “Because I thought I can’t do this, that means that I am unable to learn this new skill. No matter how much I practice or work at it, I won’t be able to do it.”
I recently described it like this: Noticing a thought is like looking at a jacket. You can look at the jacket all you want, but it won’t impact you until you decide to put it on. When you don’t notice your thoughts, it is like you start out already wearing the jacket. You didn’t look at the jacket first to see if it is a good fit, or if it is appropriate attire for the weather today. You blinked, and the jacket was on your body.
The second step is to add the phrase “That doesn’t mean it is true.” We tend to believe that our thoughts are automatically true, but this is not the case. I’m wearing a blue shirt right now, and no matter how many times I think “My shirt is green,” my shirt remains blue. How many times have you thought something and then it turned out to be false? For instance, someone who is going to take a test may think “I’m definitely going to fail this test,” and then receive a passing mark. Just because you think it, doesn’t mean it is true.
Labelling thoughts is an incredibly powerful practice. It isn’t something that we are meant to be doing for every thought we have – that would be exhausting! However, it is a great practice to use when you notice that you are feeling anxious, melancholy, stressed, angry, etc. By labelling your thoughts, you are putting a little bit of space between the instance of having a thought, and the act of assigning meaning to that thought. It is in that space that you find the power to choose your response.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
-Viktor Frankl
Kala McKenzie is a Registered Clinical Counsellor in Victoria, British Columbia. She holds a Master’s Degree in Counselling Psychology, and is a member of the British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors. If you are an adult living in BC and interested in counselling with Kala, book a complimentary consultation here.
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